A year and a half ago I was in a very different place than I am now, and I was ready to take a path that would have led to....... who knows where! I started thinking about how I got to where I am, and the main reason is because of my best friend, my Mom. So this is really just a story sharing about my Mom and what an influence and strength she is to me.
As I mentioned, last February I encountered the most difficult thing that I have dealt with in my life thus far. I was lost, hurt and confused about what this meant for me and my future. So what was the first thing that I did, I called my Mom. Of course, she didn't really give me the kind of advice that I wanted, but what I needed. Most importantly she said she loved me and that the family was praying for me.
I talked to her a lot over the next few days as I learned to cope with my situation, which coping took much longer than a few days, try a few months. Anyways, she called me after a few days and said she was coming for the weekend. I was shocked! She was really going to make the 17 hour + drive from Arizona to come and see me for two days! I felt bad that she was coming so far, but I was extremely grateful, because I really needed her.
Well she came and brought some of my favorite people in the world, my sisters and my nephews! It was the best thing in the world to be able to see my family and forget about everything for a little while. The two days passed by way too quickly, and I really wished that things would just keep going and they wouldn't have to leave. It was the weekend before Valentine's Day and so my Mom made me a Valentine care package. I don't think that I have ever cherished a Valentine so much. In it were some chocolates as well as a quote about trials. She also made me a CD of songs reminding me about my personal worth and the love that Father in Heaven has for me. As I went through this pain(for lack of a better word), I began to realize how much our family really suffers when we are hurting. I couldn't even begin to imagine how my parents ached, and even more so how Heavenly Father was aching. The pain that I suffered for about two months was relentless and I felt there was no way out. I met with my Bishop, I met with a Counselor, talked to my Mom A LOT, and prayed.
Eventually I realized how much I hated being unhappy, and that all I needed to do was decide to be happy. How simple. I wish that I could say all of my problems were solved because of that one weekend, but they weren't. What I can say is that it started me on the path of realizing that I was loved, and there was something more for me, even if I didn't know what it was yet.
It is now a year and a half later. I am married to the most wonderful man, who never forgets to say I love you, and we are getting ready to welcome our little boy into the world. Not a day goes by that I do not think what happened February 1, 2008, and how it changed my life. I can still remember the hurt, although I do not feel as much pain. But, not a day goes by that I am not GRATEFUL for how my life has turned out. I would never trade that experience or wish it on someone else. It made me who I am, I learned to realize my worth, and that my desire to be happy can change everything. I really would not have made it through that time without my Mom and I am so grateful to have a family that loves me so much. Thanks Mom!
Here is just a picture of all of us girls with my Mom.